the biggest mistake people make in love

I think one of the biggest mistakes that people make in relationships is thinking that they need to fully understand the other person. Like just learning enough about them will just make you love them more and more. And once you figured it out, then the relationship will become easier and easier. But people aren't puzzles that you need to solve.

The person that you're with today is slightly different than the person who you were with yesterday. They're changing constantly, and you're also changing constantly, and your impression and relationship with them is also changing constantly, growing, contradicting, surprising you. And I think the best relationships and the healthiest relationships are the ones where you actually accept that you're never going to understand the person fully. You're never going to be fully able to empathize with everything that they're thinking and saying.

Because then you stop trying to contain them into the shape and idea that you have of them. And instead, you stay curious, and you stay permanently curious. Like you're meeting them for the first time every single day. My partner surprises me every single day.

The he's the most unpredictable person on the planet with thoughts that I never expected him to have or ideas or experiences or the random trips that he wants to do that I would never expect anyone to want to do. And every time I have a choice either to be confused by oh, this doesn't fit the idea that I created of him, or just leave that idea completely and just accept that he's a new person now. Let him be bigger than my idea of him. Love is not necessarily understanding someone, but it's choosing to stay with someone that you'll know you'll never understand fully.

And finding that endlessly interesting instead of endlessly frustrating.