every video, one card each

video cards

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  attraction

  7 types of attraction most people don’t know exist

  the whole thesis in one video: attraction isn’t one thing, it’s seven, and you have names for three.

  • attraction is several distinct feelings we collapse into one word
  • ace people had to build this vocabulary out of necessity
  • everyone has all seven, sexual and romantic just drown the rest out
• ▶

  attraction

  sexual and romantic attraction are NOT the same thing

  why wanting someone and wanting a life with them are separate wirings that can point different ways.

• ▶

  attraction

  the thing that makes someone instantly attractive

  the real, unglamorous driver behind “instant” attraction, and why it’s rarely about looks.

• ▶

  love & limerence

  how to know it’s not love, in 76 seconds

  the fastest test for love vs limerence: does the feeling survive certainty, or need the ache?

  • love gets stronger with security; limerence gets stronger with uncertainty
  • run the “imagine they’re certain about you” test
  • a clear rejection can feel like relief, that’s the tell
• ▶

  love & limerence

  a crush over 2 weeks is just undiagnosed limerence

  when a crush overstays, it’s usually the obsessive state with a name, not a deepening love.

• ▶

  love & limerence

  3 feelings you’re confusing for love

  the three impostors that wear love’s symptoms and lead you somewhere love wouldn’t.

• ▶

  love & limerence

  why we should fall in love slowly

  the case against the vertigo, letting closeness accumulate instead of detonating it.

• ▶

  love & limerence

  how to lose the person you love, in 90 seconds

  the small, common moves that quietly end the relationships we most wanted to keep.

• ▶

  love & limerence

  the biggest mistake people make in love

  the one recurring error, reading intensity as proof, and what to do instead.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  your type is not your type. it’s your childhood wound

  the pattern in who you fall for is older than the people you fall for, attachment doing the choosing.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  the reason you like certain people has nothing to do with who they are

  sometimes the attraction is about who you get to be near them, not them at all.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  who told you to want that?

  unpicking inherited desire, how much of your “type” was ever actually yours.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  stop trying to be their type

  why contorting yourself into someone’s preference backfires, and what to do with the urge.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  the psychology of craving male validation

  when the wanting is really a hunger to be chosen, where it comes from and what it stands in for.

• ▶

  attraction & the self

  give me 6:48 and I’ll make you instantly more attractive

  attractiveness as something you do, not something you are, the parts actually in your control.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  how to tell if you like someone or just want to be their friend

  the friend crush is real, how to tell a squish from a romantic pull.

  • there’s a platonic equivalent of a crush (a “squish”)
  • wanting someone in your life ≠ wanting to date them
  • the difference determines how you should act on it
• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  you’re not bad at friendships. you were never taught how

  adult friendship is a skill nobody teaches, and the absence of a script is the real problem.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  why spontaneous one-on-one conversations create the deepest friendships

  the unstructured, inefficient hours are the ones that actually build closeness.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  nobody prepares you for how lonely adulthood actually is

  why the friends stop happening after university, and why it’s structural, not a flaw in you.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  how I found friends who actually inspire me

  going from proximity friends to chosen ones, how to find people who raise your ceiling.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  platonic life partners are the future

  your person doesn’t have to be your romantic partner, the relationship our hierarchy has no slot for.

• ▶

  friendship & loneliness

  silence is a love language, but no one teaches us that

  comfortable quiet as a form of intimacy we’re never taught to read.

• ▶

  asexuality

  what the world looks like without sexual attraction

  three minutes inside the ace vantage point, and why it reveals the other six attractions.

• ▶

  asexuality

  asexuality: the video I wish existed when I was 15

  the plain, kind introduction to asexuality she needed and didn’t have.

• ▶

  asexuality

  everything non-asexual people get wrong about asexuality

  the common myths, corrected, celibacy, low libido, “can’t be touched”, and the rest.

• ▶

  asexuality

  my boyfriend thought asexual meant I couldn’t be touched

  why touch isn’t only ever sexual, and the vocabulary problem hiding inside a “sex problem”.

• ▶

  asexuality

  how intimacy works in my asexual relationship

  what closeness actually looks like when sexual attraction isn’t the engine.

• ▶

  asexuality

  asexual vs low libido: they’re not the same thing

  drive vs attraction, the distinction almost every argument about asexuality trips over.

  • libido is your sex drive; asexuality is about attraction
  • you can have a libido and still feel no sexual attraction
  • they are separate axes that get constantly conflated
• ▶

  asexuality

  am i asexual or is there just something wrong with me

  the identity spiral of asking the question, and why nothing about you is broken.

• ▶

  asexuality

  being asexual taught me why most relationships fail

  what an empty box teaches you about the other two carrying far too much.