the card library · 30 videos
every video, one card each
the recent channel, as a deck. each card is the gist of a video — the idea you can skim before you decide to watch. filter by what you’re chasing.
video cards
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attraction
7 types of attraction most people don’t know exist
the whole thesis in one video: attraction isn’t one thing, it’s seven, and you have names for three.
- attraction is several distinct feelings we collapse into one word
- ace people had to build this vocabulary out of necessity
- everyone has all seven — sexual and romantic just drown the rest out
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attraction
sexual and romantic attraction are NOT the same thing
why wanting someone and wanting a life with them are separate wirings that can point different ways.
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attraction
the thing that makes someone instantly attractive
the real, unglamorous driver behind “instant” attraction — and why it’s rarely about looks.
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love & limerence
how to know it’s not love, in 76 seconds
the fastest test for love vs limerence: does the feeling survive certainty, or need the ache?
- love gets stronger with security; limerence gets stronger with uncertainty
- run the “imagine they’re certain about you” test
- a clear rejection can feel like relief — that’s the tell
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love & limerence
a crush over 2 weeks is just undiagnosed limerence
when a crush overstays, it’s usually the obsessive state with a name — not a deepening love.
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love & limerence
3 feelings you’re confusing for love
the three impostors that wear love’s symptoms and lead you somewhere love wouldn’t.
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love & limerence
why we should fall in love slowly
the case against the vertigo — letting closeness accumulate instead of detonating it.
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love & limerence
how to lose the person you love, in 90 seconds
the small, common moves that quietly end the relationships we most wanted to keep.
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love & limerence
the biggest mistake people make in love
the one recurring error — reading intensity as proof — and what to do instead.
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attraction & the self
your type is not your type. it’s your childhood wound
the pattern in who you fall for is older than the people you fall for — attachment doing the choosing.
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attraction & the self
the reason you like certain people has nothing to do with who they are
sometimes the attraction is about who you get to be near them, not them at all.
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attraction & the self
who told you to want that?
unpicking inherited desire — how much of your “type” was ever actually yours.
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attraction & the self
stop trying to be their type
why contorting yourself into someone’s preference backfires, and what to do with the urge.
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attraction & the self
the psychology of craving male validation
when the wanting is really a hunger to be chosen — where it comes from and what it stands in for.
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attraction & the self
give me 6:48 and I’ll make you instantly more attractive
attractiveness as something you do, not something you are — the parts actually in your control.
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friendship & loneliness
how to tell if you like someone or just want to be their friend
the friend crush is real — how to tell a squish from a romantic pull.
- there’s a platonic equivalent of a crush (a “squish”)
- wanting someone in your life ≠ wanting to date them
- the difference determines how you should act on it
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friendship & loneliness
you’re not bad at friendships. you were never taught how
adult friendship is a skill nobody teaches — and the absence of a script is the real problem.
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friendship & loneliness
why spontaneous one-on-one conversations create the deepest friendships
the unstructured, inefficient hours are the ones that actually build closeness.
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friendship & loneliness
nobody prepares you for how lonely adulthood actually is
why the friends stop happening after university — and why it’s structural, not a flaw in you.
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friendship & loneliness
how I found friends who actually inspire me
going from proximity friends to chosen ones — how to find people who raise your ceiling.
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friendship & loneliness
platonic life partners are the future
your person doesn’t have to be your romantic partner — the relationship our hierarchy has no slot for.
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friendship & loneliness
silence is a love language, but no one teaches us that
comfortable quiet as a form of intimacy we’re never taught to read.
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asexuality
what the world looks like without sexual attraction
three minutes inside the ace vantage point — and why it reveals the other six attractions.
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asexuality
asexuality: the video I wish existed when I was 15
the plain, kind introduction to asexuality she needed and didn’t have.
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asexuality
everything non-asexual people get wrong about asexuality
the common myths, corrected — celibacy, low libido, “can’t be touched”, and the rest.
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asexuality
my boyfriend thought asexual meant I couldn’t be touched
why touch isn’t only ever sexual — and the vocabulary problem hiding inside a “sex problem”.
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asexuality
how intimacy works in my asexual relationship
what closeness actually looks like when sexual attraction isn’t the engine.
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asexuality
asexual vs low libido: they’re not the same thing
drive vs attraction — the distinction almost every argument about asexuality trips over.
- libido is your sex drive; asexuality is about attraction
- you can have a libido and still feel no sexual attraction
- they are separate axes that get constantly conflated
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asexuality
am i asexual or is there just something wrong with me
the identity spiral of asking the question — and why nothing about you is broken.
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asexuality
being asexual taught me why most relationships fail
what an empty box teaches you about the other two carrying far too much.