a crush over 2 weeks is just undiagnosed limerence

When you first get into a pretty pretty healthy and long relationship, you realize that all of your other crushes and all of your other people in your life that you thought you liked were actually a huge, huge waste of time and energy. And I'm trying to push this forward for other people, but also for myself in the future if I ever break up with the person. Hopefully not, but like if ever that happens because it's so easy to have a crush. It's so easy to get stuck in this loop of finding someone and then being addicted to them and their daily life and their reactions towards you and then you move to someone else because you get bored of this person at some point or they manage to get you to be so addicted that you never get rid of that crush ever in your life which has happened to me although the person was not doing anything.

So yeah, if you're in this situation right now, all I want this video to do is put some reason into your mind and make you realize that everything that you're feeling right now is your fantasy. And I have a very strong feeling that if you're actually going to be in love with someone and end up in a good relationship, a healthy relationship with that person, it's actually not going to start from a crush or at least not from an obsession that you have. Once you get into that obsessive state, I think it was going to be very hard for you to get into a healthy relationship with that person. What a crush really is is just your imagination.

It's what you believe that person's potential can be. It's what you put together from the little information that you had about that person into some character that you formed in your head that is ideal and perfect and so interesting and so mysterious and so perfect for you, you know. So, it's not a real person. It's a daydream of a person.

It's a dream that has some physical form in which the reality is only 1% of what you're imagining. You're making a lot of assumptions. You put a lot of hope into it and it's purely a product of your imagination. There's actually like a psychological term for this.

It's called limmerance, I think. And it's basically what psychologists call when you basically your mood is tied to the reactions of someone else towards you. And when you cannot stop thinking about that person, when whatever the reaction is, your mood goes up or down. And your brain treats every single signal that you receive from them as a huge deal, like the hugest deal on the planet, a life or death situation.

What's interesting is that crushes actually activate very similar circuits as drugs and actually at very similar intensity. So this makes sense why you get so addicted to them and also get so addicted with having them. And it's more a drug based on their attention. Like the more they give you attention, the more you feel in high, right?

And then when they withdraw that attention, you feel the withdrawal that you would feel if the drug was not with you. And the worst part of all of this is that crushes literally thrive in uncertainty. If you're not sure if they like you or not, if you're not sure what their messages meant, if you're not sure, if you have uncertainty in the situation, your crush will feed into that. And this is probably one of the main reasons that you have that crush and you have that addiction.

It's not because of the person. It's because of your imagination and what your imaginations tends to do when your life is uncertain or a certain situation that you want is uncertain. And although this is kind of like a cool high and you get a lot of dopamine and you feel very nice usually when you are having a crush when those highs happen, your concentration is very bad during those times. And it has been studied that is very bad during those times.

You're more distracted. You're less productive and your mind keeps wandering to them and you cannot do basically most things in your life without thinking about them. It actually can hurt more than you expect. It can hurt as much as physical pain in some way.

Like it rejection or being ignored by these people can activate the same brain areas as physical pain and at the same intensity. So it's basically like you're actually physically getting hurt by them in the case that they ignore you or they did not give you the signal that you expect or that you assume from them to give you. It's very emotionally exhausting and you will not have the time or the peace of mind or the emotions to deal with your own emotions and mental health. viewers spend a lot of time dealing with the emotions that this roller coaster is happening to you, which is very good to happen once or twice in your life, even multiple times if it's not that addictive.

But if you really find yourself in an addiction with this person, I would, again, I'm not of psychology, but what the hell are you doing? Like, no, trust me, I I was in that position. is not worth it to spend months uh thinking of a person that you know basically nothing about. It is not worth it to spend your entire energy, emotions, and concentration, focus, productivity, everything in your life for someone that literally doesn't give a about you.

Because usually this is what's happening. It's all in our imagination. And the chances of your imagination being in line with the chances of that person's imagination like it's oh my god it's so it's so bad. I don't know why humans do this.

So much time that you spend on social media waiting for their text and so much time you spend on their stories. So much time you spend on posting so that they would reply to you. So much time replaying conversations in your head and thinking so much about that one interaction that you had. That time can be used to be spent with your friends, with working on your goals or just finding someone that actually would be healthy for you in a relationship.

Attention is very limited and our focus is also very limited. And if you choose to focus your entire energy and attention and everything on this one person that doesn't care about you, doesn't know anything real about you, and you barely can talk to them. It's such a poor investment of your time. Like it's just insane to think about that you would spend so much time of your life of your finite life that can end at any point just thinking about this person that chances are and I would say 99% of chances you would not end up in a healthy relationship with this person that is long-term.

Of course, crushes are not useless, though. Like, it gives you a very lowrisk situation in which you can practice how it is to like someone or how it is to interact with someone that you like and how it is to deal with your hormones. But what I'm mostly saying that it's a complete waste of time. It's something like a crush that lasts for more than two weeks and you do nothing about it.

And there's maybe you do something about it, but there's no clear sign that something will happen out of it or that it's even healthy for you. And if it goes into the addiction pathway, that's the moment to stop in my opinion. And something I know you know, but you don't want to hear is the moment you ask that person out and they say no, which they probably will say no. Or if they say yes, then maybe they're playing with you and maybe they really like you.

But once you ask that person out and they say no, that crush will fade away and you will not care about that person anymore. And you can make it in such a way that you ask that it's no awkward and you can still be friends. Usually you're not even friends with this crush for the most part because a crush is based on like lack of information and imagination. And if you're friends, good friends with this person, they should probably know a lot about this person.

Also, another thing that I feel like it's very important, get yourself busy with other things and get yourself so busy that you cannot possibly spend more energy on this person. I'm not saying in the way of burning out. Like, you can get yourself busy with things that you enjoy, things that bring you energy, things that I don't know to just show your love to other people, friends, family, whoever you want. I feel like making this time and getting yourself busy with things that fill your life in will make you less likely to cling to this person for the dopamine that you're trying to get.

I hope you enjoy this video and if you do have a crush and you're in this situation, please, if it lasted more than 2 weeks, do something about it. Either ask them out or get yourself busy and get out of the space and completely try to completely forget about them. Don't get into the cycle and it's hard, but try to break away from the cycle as much as possible. Try to not stay on social media.

Try to block every single pathway that you could possibly overthink about this person. Tell someone to slap you every time you talk about them. This is weirdly helpful because you will associate them with something bad. Anyway, hope this was helpful and if you enjoyed this video, I'm sure you're going to like this one, too.

Love you guys. Have the best day of your life. Kisses. Bye-bye.