free · a workbook
you do not need a new you
free, on one page.
free, no wall, no catch. fill it in on the page in your browser, or print it and write by hand.
january the first is arbitrary, and that is the reason it works rather than the reason it does not. here is what to do with the ten days of motivation it buys, and what to do on the day you break the plan.
what you’ll work through
- pick the wall, and it can be arbitrary. january the first is random, and the randomness is the mechanism rather than the flaw. a landmark files your past failures in a previous period, so you stop carrying eleven attempts into the twelfth. Dai, Milkman and Riis measured this in 2014: searches for diet, gym visits and goal commitments all rise after the start of a week, a month, a year, a semester, a birthday or a holiday.
- you get about seventy a year. 52 mondays, 12 first-of-the-months, four seasons, one birthday, and every day you come back from somewhere different, move house or start a job. waiting for january is turning down sixty-nine other chances.
- the ten days are for installing, not for impressing. a landmark is a starting device and people use it as a sustaining device. it buys about ten days of unusual willingness and then it stops. the worst thing to do with them is something impressive. the right thing is to build what runs after the motivation has gone.
- make the first version the sick-in-bed version. the burst pushes you toward the ambitious version, which is exactly the one you will not keep. pick the version you could do while tired and unwell in your own room. ten minutes counts.
- make it entertaining, or it runs on willpower alone. if the activity itself gives you nothing, the only fuel is the landmark, and that ran out on day ten. anything that makes the doing of it enjoyable is worth more than any amount of resolve.
- plan the restart before you need it. everyone breaks the plan, including a small well-adjusted one. breaking it is not the failure. stopping when you break it is, and the way that happens is you turn one missed day into a verdict about who you are.
the you do not need a new you card is the start. the rest is one letter a week, the word for one feeling you’ve had but couldn’t name.
more free cards
- the seven kinds of attraction. the whole map, on one page.
- love, or limerence? the fastest way to tell the real thing from the state that only feels like it.
- the friend crush. yes, it is real.
- am i asexual? a calm, no-pressure primer you write on.
- love, or just comfort? the two look identical from the outside and feel completely different from the inside.
- known, or just familiar? most of the people in your life recognise you.
- the spark, or the pattern? the pull you keep calling chemistry is often just recognition.
- the room test. six things that do not look like abuse, and the one question that checks all of them.
- the romantic dial. romantic attraction described with the sexual part taken out, and the four things that get mistaken for it.
- what to hand over. the one-page worksheet for deciding which half of your work an AI should do, and which half stays yours.
- the sentences. what to actually say to a friend when you want them to know what they are to you.
- the seven kinds of crush. one word for seven different experiences, which is why it feels ambiguous.
- tell me about a time you felt most loved. the question that replaces the love languages quiz.
- the deeper questions. twelve questions for two people, in three rounds, and each round goes a bit deeper than the last.