free · a workbook
the friend crush is real,
and here is what to do with it.
wanting someone in your life with no romance attached is a real kind of attraction, and it takes about 200 hours to become someone’s close friend. here is the card, and space to make your plan.
free, no wall, no catch. fill it in on the page in your browser, or print it and write by hand.
what you’ll work through
- it is a squish. a squish is a crush that wants friendship, not romance. same intensity, same "i cannot stop thinking about this person", different destination. the ace internet built the word because everyone feels this and nobody handed us a name for it.
- the 200 hours. roughly 50 hours to become a casual friend, 90 to a real friend, 200+ to a close one (Hall, 2019). closeness does not accumulate by accident. it is mostly hours.
- do the activity, not the coffee. shared doing builds friendship faster than sitting across a table making conversation. a task, a walk, a project, a class gives you a reason to be next to each other with none of the pressure.
- ask for the second hangout. the first hangout is easy. the second is where a friendship actually starts. you were handed a script for pursuing romance and none for pursuing friendship. here is the whole script: tell them you like them, and ask again.
want the rest?
one letter a week.
the the friend crush card is the start. the rest is a letter a week: the word for one feeling you’ve had but couldn’t name, as i find them. if that sounds like your kind of thing, come sit with us.
no pressure, no spam, no gatekeeping. come see if it clicks. and if it doesn’t, that’s okay too.
more free cards
- the seven kinds of attraction. the whole map, on one page.
- love, or limerence?. the fastest way to tell the real thing from the state that only feels like it.
- am i asexual?. a calm, no-pressure primer you write on.
- love, or just comfort?. the two look identical from the outside and feel completely different from the inside.
- known, or just familiar?. most of the people in your life recognise you.
- the spark, or the pattern?. the pull you keep calling chemistry is often just recognition.
- the room test. six things that do not look like abuse, and the one question that checks all of them.
- the romantic dial. romantic attraction described with the sexual part taken out, and the four things that get mistaken for it.