how to lose the person you love, in 90 seconds

Stop listening. Not all at once. Just gradually start preparing your response while they're mid-sentence. Check your phone while they're telling you about their day.

Nod without hearing what they're saying. They'll notice. They will not say anything at first, but they will notice. Stop being curious.

You already know them, right? You already know what they're going to say. You already know what they think about everything, right? Stop asking questions.

Stop being surprised. Start assuming. Let them be predictable in your mind. They'll notice it because the moment they stop being curious about someone, that moment they are a stranger in your mind.

Take them for granted. Not dramatically, just like a little bit. Stop noticing the things that they do for you. Stay because it's routine and it's comfortable, but don't compliment them on that comfort.

Let the coffee that they make you every morning be invisible. Let the fact that they text you first a lot be just background noise. The things that you stop noticing are the things that will disappear. Stop choosing them.

Not by leaving, but just defaulting kind of to the situation. Stay with them because it's easier than leaving. Stay with them because it's comfortable. Stay because leaving sounds so exhausting.

Let the relationship run on inertia, not on intention. They won't feel chosen anymore. They will feel tolerated. And feeling tolerated is the loneliest thing that you can feel in a relationship.

Let the silence grow. And grow. And grow. And not the kind of silence that is nice and beautiful and it just shows that you're comfortable in each other's presence.

Let the kind that you both have something to say, but neither of you says them. That one. Let it grow. The one where the distance between you is not physical.

It's the conversations that you stop having. The questions that you stop asking. The "How are you?" really hearing them for an hour.

Started being "How was your work?" And that's how you lose someone. Not in one moment, but in a series of moments where you choose ease over effort. Comfort over curiosity.

Silence over honesty. And the worst part is by the time you notice that it's happening, they've already kind of left. They just haven't told you yet.