what the world looks like without sexual attraction

People always ask me this, and I don't really know what to answer, because it's like asking a fish what water feels like. It's not a thing that I experience. It's the thing that I experience everything through. But, I'm going to try.

I see someone beautiful, and I say, "Oh my god, they're so beautiful." Just in the way that I see a sunset, the same beauty that I see in a very good architecture, the same way I see a beautiful painting. I appreciate it. I might stare at it for 10 seconds or more, a few minutes.

But, there's no next step, and there's no pull towards it. The appreciation just exists on its own, and that's enough for me. When my friends talk about something being hot, I understand the words, but I just don't feel the feeling that they're feeling. It's like someone describing a color that you've never seen.

You can definitely process the description, you understand what it is, but you will not process the experience. For all I know, hotness can just be, "Oh, that person has a lot of muscles." And that's what it was for me for most of my childhood and teenage years. Ads do not work for me in the way that they're supposed to.

The perfume commercial will have naked people, or I don't know, any ad that takes advantage of people's sexuality, I never feel anything towards those products. I actually kind of feel disgusted, because I realize what they're doing. I see it as a very weird way to sell perfume, or to sell a car, or whatever they're selling. I do see the manipulation instead of the feeling that the manipulation is trying to push onto me, and then that also makes me think a lot about how other ads are built onto things that I do experience, and desires that I do experience, and how I am not realizing those.

Sex scenes in movies make me feel like filler scenes, like they don't really add to anything in my case. I usually skip over them, but if I'm watching it with someone, I usually look away, or think about something else. I end up zoning out so much during those scenes. A lot of people think that's the climax of a lot of romantic books or romantic movies.

I cannot see that. I tried reading a lot of like smutty books or books that have some sexual scenes in it and usually I just skip over them. I literally cannot read. And I do think that it's taken away from maybe a conversation that the person could have with the other person or some other more important and beautiful and strong emotional experience than just sex.

But the world is not flat for me. A lot of people think that if I don't have any attraction then I don't have a lot of the big feelings that people have. And and that's not true at all. I feel so many intense feelings.

It's not the feeling that you're probably feeling sexually attracted to someone but it's usually an intense feeling that I feel during a conversation or that I feel about caring about someone after the conversation and being understood or in understanding someone else, in someone's mind clicking with me, in the moment that someone says exactly what I was thinking and then I realized that everything I thought about is not only in my head. That's what my world looks like. I think everything is there, it's just one specific filter that is missing. And I think without that filter some things are duller and some things are sharper but the overall experience is very similar.

And I wouldn't really trade the sharp things for anything. I don't want to experience life in a different way.