what is the split attraction model?

split-attraction model · also called SAM

The split attraction model is the idea that romantic and sexual attraction are two separate systems, and that they can point in different directions. For most people they line up, which is precisely why most people never notice they are separate at all. It is the backbone of this whole field guide. Once you have it, a pile of confusing experiences turns simple: wanting to build a life with someone you don't want to sleep with, wanting to sleep with people you would never date, loving someone completely with no pull toward romance. None of those are contradictions. They are two dials, and nobody mentioned there were two.

this one has a whole chapter under it. read: which orientation combination are you? →

what to read on this

Ace Angela Chen what the ace spectrum shows everyone about desire, not just ace people. the clearest writing anywhere on compulsory sexuality. the vantage point most of my videos are written from.
The Invisible Orientation Julie Sondra Decker the introduction. the whole spectrum of words in one place, demisexual and gray-a included, written for someone who has just found the term.

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also asked

is the split attraction model only for asexual and aromantic people?

It came out of those communities, but no. It describes everyone. Perioriented people, whose two dials point the same way, are simply the case where the model is invisible because nothing ever pulls the two apart.

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this is one of about thirty words i have collected for feelings most people never got names for. i send one a week, with the reason it works that way.

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