the glossary · word
what is a queerplatonic relationship?
queerplatonic relationship · also called QPR
A queerplatonic relationship, usually shortened to QPR, is a committed relationship that follows neither the rules of romance nor the rules of ordinary friendship. Its own category, deliberately. That can mean living together, raising children, sharing money, being each other's emergency contact and next of kin, with no romantic or sexual element anywhere in it. The term came from aromantic and asexual communities, and the reason it matters well beyond them is that our culture offers exactly one shape for a life built with another person. A QPR is what it looks like when people pick the shape themselves.
where it comes from: Wikipedia ↗
this one has a whole chapter under it. read: alterous attraction →
what to read on this
- The Other Significant Others Rhaina Cohen people who built their whole lives around a friendship instead of a marriage. the closest thing there is to a book length case for the queerplatonic life.
- Families We Choose Kath Weston the 1991 anthropology of chosen family. real kinship built from the people you pick instead of the ones you were assigned.
- Loveless Alice Oseman a novel from inside the spectrum, about a girl finding out she is asexual and aromantic and that a friendship can be the great love of her life. the one i wish i had at nineteen.
amazon affiliate links. buying through one costs you nothing extra and keeps this page free. every book i recommend →
also asked
can you have a queerplatonic relationship and a romantic one at the same time?
Yes, and plenty of people do. A QPR is not a substitute for romance and it does not occupy the same slot, so it does not need to compete for one. The arrangements vary enormously, because the whole point is that the people involved decide the terms.
come think with me
one word a week.
this is one of about thirty words i have collected for feelings most people never got names for. i send one a week, with the reason it works that way.
no pressure, no spam, no gatekeeping. unsubscribe anytime · riadumitrescu.substack.com
all of this is free and it stays free. if it gave you a word you didn’t have, you can buy me a coffee.