the glossary · word
what is sapiosexuality?
sapiosexuality
Sapiosexuality is when intelligence is a primary trigger for attraction rather than a nice extra. For a small share of people, a genuinely brilliant conversation does what physical appearance does for everyone else. The term gets mocked, and some of that is fair, because plenty of people use it to mean nothing more than 'I have taste'. But the thing underneath is real, and it maps onto intellectual attraction: wanting someone's mind specifically, and feeling the pull sharpen the moment they say something you had not thought of. If the best part of the date was the argument, this is the word for that.
where it comes from: Sapiosexuality ↗
this one has a whole chapter under it. read: the five types of intimacy →
what to read on this
- The Evolution of Desire David M. Buss the trade book behind the 37 cultures study. the full evolutionary case for why a good mind ranks so high in what humans say they want.
- Ace Angela Chen what the ace spectrum shows everyone about desire, not just ace people. the clearest writing anywhere on compulsory sexuality. the vantage point most of my videos are written from.
amazon affiliate links. buying through one costs you nothing extra and keeps this page free. every book i recommend →
also asked
is sapiosexuality a real orientation?
Most researchers would say it's a preference rather than an orientation, and I think that's roughly right. It doesn't need to be an orientation to be useful. It just needs to name something people feel and keep having to explain in three clumsy sentences instead.
come think with me
one word a week.
this is one of about thirty words i have collected for feelings most people never got names for. i send one a week, with the reason it works that way.
no pressure, no spam, no gatekeeping. unsubscribe anytime · riadumitrescu.substack.com
all of this is free and it stays free. if it gave you a word you didn’t have, you can buy me a coffee.