the glossary · cognitive bias
what is reciprocity bias?
reciprocity bias
Reciprocity bias is the wired instinct to repay what we're given. It is old, it is fast, and it never checks whether we asked for the thing in the first place. That is why free samples work. It is also why excessive early generosity in dating registers, somewhere below conscious thought, as a debt. Repaying it invests you in someone long before you have decided you want to be invested. Which is worth knowing, because from the inside, the feeling of owing somebody and the feeling of liking them are almost impossible to tell apart.
where it comes from: Reciprocity (social psychology) ↗
this one has a whole chapter under it. read: love bombing, and why it works →
also asked
how do you tell reciprocity from real attraction?
Take the ledger out of it. Picture that nothing has been given, nothing is owed, and nobody would be disappointed either way. If the pull survives that, it was attraction. If it quietly disappears, what you were feeling was the debt.
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