a workbook · riadms.com
the friend crush
yes, it is real. it has a name. and this is where you turn it into an actual friendship, with a plan and a next step you write yourself.
this one is a plan, not just a name. read what a squish is, then use the space to map the friendship you actually want and the next real move toward it. by the end you should have something concrete to send.
- 01
it is a squish
a squish is a crush that wants friendship, not romance. same intensity, same "i cannot stop thinking about this person", different destination. the ace internet built the word because everyone feels this and nobody handed us a name for it.
from me naming it as a squish, not a failed crush, changed everything for me. it stopped being confusing and started being simple.
who is your squish right now? write their name, and what you actually want with them.
- 02
the 200 hours
roughly 50 hours to become a casual friend, 90 to a real friend, 200+ to a close one (Hall, 2019). closeness does not accumulate by accident. it is mostly hours.
from me this took the pressure off for me. you are not "bad at friendship", you might just be short on hours.
roughly how many hours have you actually spent together? where does that put you on the 50 / 90 / 200 scale?
- 03
do the activity, not the coffee
shared doing builds friendship faster than sitting across a table making conversation. a task, a walk, a project, a class gives you a reason to be next to each other with none of the pressure.
from me the closest friendships in my life were built side by side, not face to face.
what is one activity you could genuinely invite them into this month? write it, specifically.
- 04
ask for the second hangout
the first hangout is easy. the second is where a friendship actually starts. you were handed a script for pursuing romance and none for pursuing friendship. here is the whole script: tell them you like them, and ask again.
from me say the real sentence: "i like talking to you, let’s do this again." it feels enormous, and it lands as completely normal.
write the exact words you would send to ask for the next one. draft the message here first.
your friendship plan, in your own words