the glossary · concept
what is the sunset test for attraction?
the sunset test
The sunset test is the fastest way to spot aesthetic attraction. Ask what you actually want to do about it. With a sunset, you want to look. That is the whole thing. There is no next step, no version of the evening where the sunset goes better, nothing being deferred until later. The looking is the entire event. If a person registers that way, you are having an aesthetic response, and you can stop interrogating it for a hidden crush. Beauty is allowed to just be beauty. Most people have never been told they can find someone stunning and want absolutely nothing to happen.
this one has a whole chapter under it. read: aesthetic attraction →
also asked
can you find someone attractive and not want anything from them?
Yes, and it is extremely common. Aesthetic attraction is appreciation with no next step attached. The reason it causes confusion is that we are handed one script where noticing beauty is supposed to mean wanting something, so people go looking for a desire that was never there.
come think with me
one word a week.
this is one of about thirty words i have collected for feelings most people never got names for. i send one a week, with the reason it works that way.
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all of this is free and it stays free. if it gave you a word you didn’t have, you can buy me a coffee.